I Need a Glass of Wine or Margarita…maybe a Long Island Tea

It’s been a while since I (wined) whined about any of my post-mastectomy issues, so clearly, I am neglecting this blog. I shall get out the corkscrew and remedy that immediately. Grab a glass and join me!

My shoulder pain in my left shoulder (more like the spot where my pectoral muscle connects) is about a level between an 5 to 8. Not only does the shoulder hurt – a lot – it is also going up my neck, and from there it is making my head throb, too. The worst part is it is getting painful to type, which makes it hard for me to concentrate at work.

As always…Not sleeping is, of course, a given. I don’t think I have slept worth a shit since I started taking Tamoxifen. Only one thing has helped me sleep through the night…it is not legal in Texas.

Let’s have another glass of wine or maybe it’s time to break out the blender and make a margarita as I tell you about a burning pain in the chest wall underneath my right implant. The phantom itching across my foobies has not gone away. I am starting to suspect that I may have Post-Mastectomy Pain Syndrome, which is caused by nerve damage during the mastectomy.

Hold out your glass for a refill, because I want to tell you that isn’t the only fun I get to have. For about six months, I have experienced abdominal bloating, from what I thought was the steroids I took to try to control the shoulder pain and then the sinus issues. However, it’s been more than a eight weeks since I swallowed the last one and the bloating is getting worse. I honestly look like I’m about six months pregnant now, and I had to go out and purchase some pants a size up.

That would have created the muffin top to beat all muffin tops.

Then, I had to go up one more size! Now, I have seriously baggy jeans around my butt and thighs that fit around the waist.

I’m am such a sexy, sexy woman. Elastic’s next, just you wait and see. I mean think about it…elastic waist pants and panty liners because of the leaky bladder…who wouldn’t think I was sexy.

Do you need yet another refill?

That lower left back pain that I have had for months? It has not gone away. It does get down to unnoticeable levels and then it pops up again, like the cork on the newest bottle I just opened.

Want some more wine? I think maybe it’s time for a Long Island Tea…all this whining is giving me a headache.

Let’s not forget the hot flashes. I honestly thought that after 3 1/2 years on Tamoxifen and being 57 years old, I would be done with the Hormone crap. Nothing like feeling like you are cooking one minute and needed to turn on a heater the next. Or waking up because you are sweating from the blankets combined with the hot flash.

Another round…coming up!

You are going to need it when you read this; I also have some intermittent bowel issues. Oh, just take a small sip, I won’t go into details. Google tenesmus if you really want to know what I have been going through.

Fortunately, that problem comes and goes. (ha ha)

My goodness, the fun never ends, does it?

I also have started having pain in my thighs after sitting for an hour or so. I mean, my leg hurts so bad and doesn’t want to work. I have to stand there for a minute and wait for it to calm down.

You know, if I’d had any idea that cancer was going to do this to me, and make me feel discomfort 3 1/2 years down the road, not to mention having to learn a word like tenesmus, I might not have done it.

Oh, I know. I’ve googled abdominal bloating, lower back, pain and tenesmus, and I get what you get. All I have to say to that is:

No.

Let’s have another drink or two!

.

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