It is time to vent. Time to let out backed up frustration. Time to purge and breathe a little easier.
And don’t take it personally! It’s not about you. It’s about me!
One morning you just wake up and think “what the fuck? I am sick to death of this shit.” I may be a strong person, but I am flat out exhausted. I may consider myself brave and resilient, but I am tired of taking care of myself and everyone else. I am tired of being independent, paying the bills I need to pay. I am tired of all the work I need to do on a daily basis.
I am tired of having everyone count on me while not having anyone I can count on. I can’t say I can’t do something because it seems like the whole world expects me to do it. Others expect me to always be okay and don’t even know I may have problems of my own that I need help solving.
Even the strongest person needs love and affection. No one likes to feel lonely. No one likes to be rejected. Sometimes, strong people don’t like to be heroes. Sometimes I need someone to “rescue” me and be there for me. I need someone who I can call a best friend or a partner; someone who will teach me all the amazing things that having a loyal person can do for me.
Because sometimes, even I break down. And usually, it is when I have had enough of everyone and everything. When I have been pushed to the limits and trying do the right thing all the time. When I have been strong for too long and I have forgotten about myself. When I just can’t pull myself out of bed because my body, heart, and soul are heavy, yet somehow I am out there doing for those I love. When everything I have built is falling apart and there is no one around to help me.
Even I need a break. I need someone else to be in charge and take the reigns. I need to slow down and recharge my batteries, otherwise, I will exhaust and hurt myself. I need to be vulnerable for a change and let other people do things for me. Because I don’t have super-powers. I am human as well and I need to feel like I am loved, and not your just maid, driver, cook or babysitter.
After all, even the strongest person gets tired of being strong. I have learned how to be strong on my own, having faced many challenges and difficulties when no one was there to give me a hand.
And even I miss who I used to be before people and circumstances taught me who I should be – that I need to be strong and independent because people always leave and I cannot not sit back and not help.